Oh my word! Look at me now and where am I going from here? Still recovering after chemo and left with a few scars that limits a lot of daily activities such as: returning to work, walking long distance, fatigue and more often than I like flare-ups from neuropathy. “Neuropathy is a disease or dysfunction of one or more peripheral nerves, typically causing numbness or weakness”… sited from Webster Dictionary.
My condition was caused by chemotherapy drugs it effected the nerves in both of my hands and feet. It causes tingling sensations, stiffness and pain that’s just indescribable at times. Well for now it’s my norm and I’ve learned to work with it. Some days I feel on top of the world and can find myself performing minimal household chores… my family would agree that I take household chores to another level. I’m going to clean from top to bottom as if I were being chased by the cartoon character the Road Runner.
Let me say this, the next day I pay for it mercifully. The agony of pain shoots from my hands to my feet as if it’s saying, “You aren’t the boss of me”. For some odd reasons I continue to repeat the same behavior like I coincidentally forgot what the pain felt like…go figure that one.
So this is actually called recovery. Sometimes I wonder when the “real” recovery will begin and better yet what it’s going to feel like. Well, um, I don’t know. I’m chuckling as I write because I have come a long way and this neuropathy likes to play head games by keeping you guessing and waiting for it to go away. Every day I can expect a roller coaster ride, up and down, and twisting around. Whew! Enough already, with no hurry it moves like a turtle and eventually will get better in time.
In closing never give in or give up because the little slow turtle will become a mighty ninja warrior. Stay tuned and chime in.
The experience of heart break for me became reality on July 10th 2017 with diagnosis of having uterine cancer. After my last treatment of chemotherapy having side effects that tagged along and taunted me daily became my norm. It literally shattered my heart into a million pieces, at least that’s what it felt like when I looked into the mirror and could not identify that person.
That first glance seeing a woman that was eyebrowless, bald head, and a look of wonder on her face…it didn’t resemble me. I convinced myself this was temporary and I was okay with what could be possible. What I challenged with the most was the disconnection I felt. I literally felt no connection with that woman in the mirror.
I really wanted to know that person but she was of a different caliber I hadn’t acquainted myself and truth being said I didn’t want too. I wanted CC back whom I lived with for 61 years, had my routine life, had and I can run circles around you energy and had some sense of direction where I was going. Well, life sometimes take you places unimaginable and I was left with two choices…take Thanksgiving and Gratitude or wallow in self-pity.
After weeks and months on end choosing to wallow in self-pity and being there wallowing alone…I decided to look back into that mirror, welcome the new me and begin moving forward with Thanksgiving and Gratitude. God has His plans for where I will travel and hearts I will touch, He chose to keep me and mold me to His perfection. I have the favor of The Almighty above.
I will continue to be a warrior for those who could not and for those who are progressing on. As you go about in this year take time to look in your mirror. Rearrange brokenness where opportunity presents itself and as for the saying, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”. But if it is, be brave and fix it. As I journey into this world of possibilities, I invite you to travel along.